My brother recently helped me update my resume. In addition to making it look vastly more professional, he added an "outside interests" section to my resume. He listed my outside interests as: I hate to cook, raised smart kids, etc. How clever ! He adding personality and flair to my dull resume. So for a few weeks I sent out this new amusing resume. Then, for some reason, I began to second guess the hobby section. Was I supposed to know that he was kidding when he put those in......was I supposed to know to replace them with traditional and innocuous hobbies like golf and swimming ? So, to be sure, I sent him an email and asked him about it.
His response was basically, 'of course you were supposed to know to replace those hobbies with traditional ones !'
OMG ! I knew it ! Ahhhhhh ! So, I quickly pulled up my resume and fixed it and emailed him as such.
Later that day he emailed me again..........this time to tell me that he was just kidding when he told me to replace the clever hobbies with boring ones.............he assumed I'd know he was joking because clever hobbies, are, indeed, clever ! Making me look, perhaps, CLEVER, too.
(Can't you just see him falling out of his chair laughing........he has me driving in circles like a car with a remote control.)
.............so, I just RE RE updated my resume. Back in again are the hobbies: hates to cook, raised smart kids, etc. I am out of gas......depleted.....exhausted..........at a loss.........
You know what, I need to put out a memo to all my friends and family to remind them that:
I am literal
I will believe whatever they tell me
I cannot "read between lines"....... unless I see actual lines on a piece of paper
I rarely assume anyone is joking unless they preface what they say with "I am joking"
(pretend that you hear the sound of galloping horse.......Captain Literal (me) rides again...........)
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